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How to tell an Aussie from a Kiwi

December 17, 2009

I know it can be tricky for people over here to tell the difference between our accents. We insist to the English there’s a huge difference and then asked what it is, we reply, ‘go ask a Kiwi to say fish n chips.’ And when the English person looks at us confused, we giggle like a school girl and say, ‘they say six like sex’. Which probably leaves the English person thinking Australians are tossers (if they didn’t already think this in the first place). I have no idea what a Kiwi responds when asked this question about us. Do let me know if you find out.

So, here are some key differences to help the poms make the distinction.

It’s all about I

This is why we give the example of six, fish and chips. New Zealanders tend to shorten them to the point of no existence. Try saying six without its middle letter. It sounds like sex right? And if anything their ‘i’ is more like a ‘u’. So instead of six serves of fish n chips, you get sex fush n chups.

Irish Comedian, Jason Byrne, said that Aussies sound like dolphins, all high pitched and squeaky (the joke was also in reference to our awesome swimming abilities and his lack of). What he didn’t mention is the way we pronounce ‘i’ is also dolphin-like. ‘I’ becomes double ‘e’ as though rhyming with wee. So Aussies eat feesh and cheeps. We call in seeck to work. And our friends over the ocean are Keewees. All those ‘ee’s do resemble an over excited dolphin.

A word of advice

You meet someone from our part of the world, they’re talking away at you and you can’t remember which nationality says fush or feesh. What do you do? If you have to guess which country they’re from, like the bugger has asked you or something, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO? Say they’re from New Zealand. Well, generally speaking, Kiwis will get more offended if you confuse them with us, so never assume a Kiwi is Australian. And if the person turns out to be an Aussie, they’ll more than likely just laugh and say, ‘nah mate, they say six like sex.’

So, for all you English people reading, I hope this post has cleared up some things for you. I hope I haven’t left you more confused, or thinking that we’re not just tossers but freaky dolphin tossers.

For another article on how to tell us apart visit here.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Kiwi permalink
    February 21, 2010 5:16 am

    hate to break it to u aussie, but your the ones who say six like sex. And no we will not get offended, it is annoying however when you forget that your far larger size gives you almost every possible advantage and yet you still (other than in cricket) have to fight hard to beat us in sport. I have been to many countries and never had anyone say to me u say six like sex, but have heard many say that you people do. Seriously Bro, see i said bro not bra, thats wat i sound like to cauz no one says bra over here despite that stupid youtube shit (which was actually pretty funny) yeah seriously, go back to your bloody desert.

    • February 21, 2010 10:32 am

      Hey Kiwi,

      Interesting point you make that we say six like sex. I had no idea. But I guess that’s the funny thing with accents and the different way we perceive language. I was out with Kiwis the last two nights – they’re great fun – but six never came up in the conversation so I can’t be sure now who says what – thanks very much for putting a spanner in the works.

      Do you refer to girls as bro in New Zealand? Or just making a point?

      And, I’m not really ready to go back to the desert – not that I’m from there – I’m from the coast but anyway …

      • February 21, 2010 12:32 pm

        PS I don’t know what bra/bro youtube clip you’re referring to. Would you be able to pass on the link please?

  2. Kiwi permalink
    February 24, 2010 6:22 am

    that was a good comeback. I actually had no idea u were a girl anyway. Its just that your I sounds like e. Kinda like our I sounds like u. And you havent heard of the video with the whale on youtube? and there is a seagull? its called beached as bro i think.

  3. Anonymous permalink
    November 11, 2013 3:20 am

    Ekshully mate, th truck uz to only trenspose th short vowul sounds. “a” becomes “e”, “e” becomes “i”, “i” becomes “u”, “o” stays the same, and “u” ceases to ixsust.

    So, it’s “Sux dollars end fufty sivin cints worth of fush end chups please. And could you chuck un a jilly tup too, eh. They’re tasty ez. Thenks bro.”

  4. Anonymous permalink
    January 10, 2014 2:53 am

    the thing i notice is that my friend says Unterested and not interested. Cracks me up.

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